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October 24, 2008 / push4ward

The last mintues of my teen

i’m turning 20 in less than 30 mins! im saying good-bye to another year of my life n to other 9 years i lived my teens thru..

being a teenager wasn’t easy as i realize most of you already know.. i feel like i’ve experienced so many things.. which some have changed my life completely n it’s never like before..i’ve grown up n now i have many opinions im proud of about lots of stuff.

religion, i came to understand by talking with an australian friend that i should never follow what i don’t believe in, n i should never believe in something until i can make sense of what it is..

humanity, unlike before i get it that judging people based mainly on their religion, color, race etc isn’t something i want others doing to me..therefore, im more open to talk to more people of various backgrounds n be friends with them.

parents, now i know better.. i can understand for what reasons they’ve done some things that annoyed me in the past, i have more respect for what they did n still doing for me.

my past, lots of people i’ve lost, many times i got hurt..many many more times i’ve got hurt from people i least expected to cause me pain n put me in harm’s way, i got people turning their backs on me after lots of sweet moments shared together, betrayal never feels good.. some left for good n i know nothing about em till now..others stayed but nothings the same as before, they’ve changed, i could no longer talk to them like i used to, i could never act around em the way i have before, some hurt n left n some came n offered their apologies. i know now that apologies never heal wounds or erase scars, they just remind you of how awful things were n offer some reasons or excuses. but nonetheless i’ve learned to let go, i’ve realized i cant live that so the rest of my life is going to be totally different..

people who knew me year ago would notice the big change,

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